Losing Weight Will Not Make You Happy

shareasimage(8)How many times have you said, I’ll be happy if I just lose 25 pounds (fill in your favorite number)?  Or if I get to a size 10 (again, fill in your favorite number)?

The truth is that there is no number on the scale or size on your tags that can magically make you happy.

In fact, tying your happiness to any external factor is one of the most miserable experiences possible.  I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve seen someone (or let’s get real – been someone) who was upset that she only lost one pound at a weight loss meeting after doing everything perfectly.

I have gotten up every day and weighed myself to determine if it was going to be a good day or a bad one.  I’ve had shopping trips that disappointed me so much I decided to starve myself.  Looking back on that I feel sad for all the wasted energy.

If your happiness depends on achieving weight loss goal or size, you’re bound to find that you’re not really happy.  The same is true if your happiness depends on the amount of money you make, the number of friends you have, or the title on your business cards.

When you try to find happiness on the basis that there’s something terribly wrong with you (your weight, your size, your lack of achievements, you name it), you’re never going to get the feeling you want.  As the quote above says, “You can’t build joy on a foundation of self-loathing.”

My friends, I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way.  And I’ve actually had to learn it many times.  I was reminded of it again last night as I went through one of the meditations with Oprah and Deepak that I told you about a few weeks ago.

My husband and I have been doing them together, but we’re a little behind.  Last night the meditation was on feeling complete and wholeness.  It was a great reminder that happiness can’t come from external sources, but instead it comes from realizing we have everything we need to be happy.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t live a healthy life and I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t lose weight.  But what I am saying is that losing weight isn’t going to suddenly make you happy. And if that’s your expectation you’ll be sorely disappointed.

I would argue that self-acceptance will make you happy.  And when you’re happy and accept yourself it will be easier to do the things that help you to have a healthy body including eating healthy foods and being mindful about your eating, moving your body, and maintaining the weight that’s best for you and natural for your body.

So remember today that you are worth loving and accepting just the way you are.

Jeni :)

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Affirmations for Breakfast

shareasimage(7)It’s back to school time and for me that means some long mornings in the car.  I take my stepkids to school one or two days a week depending on the schedule.  They go to school in another town and it’s about 20 miles each way.

The older kiddos get dropped off an hour and half earlier than the youngest, so that means a lot of car time.   We eat breakfast in the car so we can get a few more minutes of sleep.

All summer I have worked harder on self-care.  Despite my best efforts, I still find that sometimes I put myself on the bottom of the list and I don’t even realize it!  For example, last year when I took the kids to school I made sure that they had a healthy breakfast.

For us that means whole grains, protein, fruit/veggie, and no artificial colors or refined sugar.  That’s not how we eat all the time, but a good portion of it.  I’ve recommitted to intuitive eating and that is really my guide.

Every week I painstakingly packed three healthy breakfasts, but nothing for myself.  And, of course, by the time I dropped off the last kid I was starving and either came home and ate too much at one time or hit a drive-thru.  It really never occurred to me that I also deserve a healthy breakfast!

So school has already started and so far I’ve made sure to pack myself a healthy breakfast along with the three for the kids.

This year I’m more organized and I got Ziploc divided rectangle containers that are easy to transport and eliminate spills.  I’ve also made up a bunch of different options and frozen them so I can quickly thaw them out and/or heat them.  The night before I usually prepare fruit to go in them – I really despise rushing around before we head out the door.

The kids eat theirs on the way to school and I eat mine in the time between school drop-offs.

It may seem really simple and obvious – but it really wasn’t obvious to me that I wasn’t caring for myself.  I’ve started paying much more attention to where I am on the list and how I take care of my own needs – there’s no one else responsible to do it for me.

And just having made this small change has made a huge difference in how I feel – both physically and mentally.

Some affirmations that have helped me are:

I deserve to have healthy food.

I deserve to take the time to prepare a meal for myself.

Affirmations can sometimes seem a little cheesy.  And when I’m not in the mood for them, I just roll my eyes.  But this has really been effective.  As soon as say it to myself, it’s easy to choose foods that are good for me and enjoy them.

I always worry so much that the kids are getting the good things they deserve.  So remembering that I deserve good things, too, is beneficial.

What do you think about affirmations?  Have you used them?  Which ones are most effective for you? Are you struggling with any self-care?  Share in the comments!

Jeni  :)

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Free 21-Day Meditation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah

Candle FlameHave you ever wanted to try meditation, but felt intimated by it?  I wanted to let you know about a great way to get started with meditation for FREE. Starting August 11th you can participate in the 21-Day meditation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah.

These are offered two or three times a year and during that time you’ll get a daily email with a link to a guided meditation.  This time the series focuses on joy. And, I don’t know about you, but I could always use more of that!

It’s really easy to sign up – I did it in about 2 minutes.  Just go here and follow the instructions:

21-Day Meditation

Then when it’s time to begin on August 11th, you’ll receive an email.  I did a few of these with my younger sister in May and really enjoyed it.  In that series there was a little introduction by Oprah followed by the meditation that was guided by Deepak Chopra.

If you’ve never meditated, I urge you to give this a try.  In my experience meditation does a lot to reduce stress, help me stay centered, and create a more intentional life.

And if you’re already meditating, it’s always nice to have a new tool.

Any questions or want to share your experience with meditation?  Share in the comments below!

Have a great day!

Jeni :)

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