The truth is that there is no number on the scale or size on your tags that can magically make you happy.
In fact, tying your happiness to any external factor is one of the most miserable experiences possible. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve seen someone (or let’s get real – been someone) who was upset that she only lost one pound at a weight loss meeting after doing everything perfectly.
I have gotten up every day and weighed myself to determine if it was going to be a good day or a bad one. I’ve had shopping trips that disappointed me so much I decided to starve myself. Looking back on that I feel sad for all the wasted energy.
If your happiness depends on achieving weight loss goal or size, you’re bound to find that you’re not really happy. The same is true if your happiness depends on the amount of money you make, the number of friends you have, or the title on your business cards.
When you try to find happiness on the basis that there’s something terribly wrong with you (your weight, your size, your lack of achievements, you name it), you’re never going to get the feeling you want. As the quote above says, “You can’t build joy on a foundation of self-loathing.”
My friends, I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way. And I’ve actually had to learn it many times. I was reminded of it again last night as I went through one of the meditations with Oprah and Deepak that I told you about a few weeks ago.
My husband and I have been doing them together, but we’re a little behind. Last night the meditation was on feeling complete and wholeness. It was a great reminder that happiness can’t come from external sources, but instead it comes from realizing we have everything we need to be happy.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t live a healthy life and I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t lose weight. But what I am saying is that losing weight isn’t going to suddenly make you happy. And if that’s your expectation you’ll be sorely disappointed.
I would argue that self-acceptance will make you happy. And when you’re happy and accept yourself it will be easier to do the things that help you to have a healthy body including eating healthy foods and being mindful about your eating, moving your body, and maintaining the weight that’s best for you and natural for your body.
So remember today that you are worth loving and accepting just the way you are.